✗ Negative Self-Talk
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Why Is It Okay For You To Be So Mean To Yourself?
IT’S NOT OKAY!!!! You can not be mean to yourself and think that you are going to someday be happy with yourself!
That negative self talk you have with yourself is only going to hurt you. I know that you think by being hard on yourself you are going to make yourself do things better- that is not true.
You do need to be able to see were you need to improve but, you do not need to beat yourself down.
Have you ever sat quietly and listened to the voice in your head? What do you hear?
If you are like a lot of people you will hear things like:
- They don’t like me
- Why am I so dumb
- I am not loved
- Why should I try when I know I will fail
- I suck
- I am ugly
- Can’t do this any more
- Just give up
That chatter you hear is called negative self-talk. The sad truth is that this inner voice will ultimately be your demise if you do not tell it to SHUT THE F UP!
Lets work on changing that inner voice of yours. Friend at the end of the day it is just you and yourself having a chat- so lets make sure its a good chat.
↬ My First Suggestion
Acknowledge these thoughts but change what you are saying to yourself. Really ask yourself why you are telling yourself those mean things. If you are telling yourself “I know they do not like me,” stop and ask yourself why should they not like me? If you can not put your finger on a specific reason they should not like you than you know you are just being mean to yourself. After reflecting on that negative thought try reframing it.
Instead of saying to yourself, “I know they do not like me.” Try saying, “They do not know me, so they can not dislike me or like me until they get to know me.”
By reframing your negative self-talk you are taking baby sets to reprograming the way you talk to yourself as well as how you see things around you.
Our brains are “fixers” and that is why we see the negative things first. By changing the way your brain process the world around you, you will be able to see things in a more positive way.
↬ My Second Suggestion
Write out a mantra to tell yourself (I say this at night to help me fall asleep as well). I tell myself every night “You are strong, smart, beautiful, and loved.” You can change up the words you use to fit the negative thoughts you are having. I know that it feels silly and small. But, I promise that it is a big steep in changing that inside voice of yours. It takes time to rewire our brains and this is a wonderful step in doing so.
↬ My Third Suggestion
Remind yourself that you are doing the best job you can with the tools you have. We all make mistakes and then we learn from them. You are human and no one is perfect, so stop being so hard on yourself!
I know these seem like small things and they are. The challenging part is to do them consistently. Give yourself time! It took this long to create that negative self-talk in your head so do me a favor give it the same time to create the positive self-talk!
※ Your Challenge:
For a week tell the person you value two positive things about them. We are so so so very quick to look at the negatives in our life that by taking time to recognize the positive in someone else will remind us to do the same kindness for ourselves.
My two positive reminders I have for you are – you are amazing and you need to get out of your own way friend!
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Another good article on Negative Self-Talk: The Toxic Effects of Negative Self-Talk